<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Moonshine by LilyK</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29560845">Moonshine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK'>LilyK</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Starsky &amp; Hutch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, transcript</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:35:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,403</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29560845</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Starsky and Hutch set out to find the moonshiners who have brewed up a batch of lethal illegal alcohol.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Starsky &amp; Hutch Original Series Transcripts</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Moonshine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <pre class="western">MOONSHINE

Season 4, Episode 5

Original Airdate: October 17, 1978

Written by: Fred Friedberger
Story Editor: Rick Edelstein
Staff Writer: Robert Dellinger
Created by: William Blinn
Directed by: Reza Badiyi

Summary: Starsky and Hutch set out to find the moonshiners who have brewed up a batch of lethal illegal alcohol. 

Cast: </pre>
<p>David Soul ... Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson</p>
<p>Paul Michael Glaser ... Det. Dave Starsky</p>
<p>Antonio Fargas ... Huggy Bear (credit only)</p>
<p>Bernie Hamilton ... Capt. Harold Dobey</p>
<p>Billy Green Bush ... Willy Hall</p>
<p>Zachary Lewis ... Melvin Hall</p>
<p>Shug Fisher ... Sam Ivers</p>
<p>James Noble ... Treasury Agent Kendall</p>
<p>Mary Louise Weller ... Dolly Ivers</p>
<p>Lee McLaughlin ... Earl</p>
<p>Pat Corley ... Ben Meadows</p>
<p>Bruce M. Fischer ... Rudy</p>
<p>Don Maxwell ... Manager</p>
<p>Lanny Horn ... Kid</p>
<p>Dennis Fimple ... Virgil</p>
<p>Johnnie Collins III ... Frank</p>
<p>William Cort ... Detective Hank Munson</p>
<p> </p>
<pre class="western"><b>Exterior - Day - Warehouse</b>

FRANK: Don't-- Don't sweat it, Virgil. We done got enough now to turn the county reservoir into lemonade.

VIRGIL: Yeah, but we ain't making lemonade. That's good. Hey! Don't you litter. You know that's against the law.

FRANK: Hey. Hey, Virg.

VIRGIL: I'm standing right here. You so drunk you can't see me?

FRANK: Virg, I ain't feeling too good.

VIRGIL: Why, you never could hold your liquor.

FRANK: It ain't that, Virg. It's something else.

VIRGIL: Ahh!

FRANK: My--

VIRGIL: You do look a little peaked. You gonna make it all right?

FRANK: If I can put out this fire in my head.

VIRGIL: Yeah. You just get the rest of that stacked, and I'll get the rest of it, it's in the back.


<b>Exterior - Day - Dog Track Food Stand</b>

HUTCH: What are you doing?

STARSKY: Nothing. What do you mean?

HUTCH: Well, you know, you got a problem or something?

STARSKY: What are you talking about?

POLICE DISPATCHER: Zebra 3. Come in.

STARSKY: Hey.

HUTCH: Yeah, Zebra 3, go ahead.

POLICE DISPATCHER: 2-11 in progress at a warehouse in the vicinity of Melrose and Fifth.

HUTCH: Roger on the call. (end) "An Anglo's Guide to Latin Disco"?

STARSKY: Hey!

HUTCH: Let's go.


<b>Exterior - Day - Warehouse</b>

FRANK: Virgil, I feel worse.

VIRGIL: Well, I ain't feeling so hot neither. Let's get the hell out of here. Now, come on! Get in there. Let's go! Hurry up!

(Car chase ensues.)

VIRGIL: They're on us. Frank! Don't be dying on me! Straighten up, Frank!

HUTCH: We got 'em now. It's a dead end. Come on, come on out of there. Come on! Starsk, call an ambulance. These men are dying.


<b>Interior - Day - Squad Room</b>

DOBEY: Where's your partner?

HUTCH: Oh, I don't know, Captain. I think he's down stairs getting something to eat.

DOBEY: Those two plow boys you busted yesterday are dead. Find Starsky. Meet me in my office in 10 minutes.<br/>

<b>Exterior - Day - Illegal Still Location</b>

DOLLY: But, Pa, Virgil and Frank were practically next of kin.

IVERS: Yeah, you're right, Dolly. And the least they deserve is a decent funeral back home in Kentucky now.

HALL: What if those feds chase those boys right back to us? 

DOLLY: We're using cold cash and false names to get their bodies home, if it's all right with you. 

HALL: I still think you're wasting a whole lot of time and a lot of money for a bunch of stiffs.

DOLLY: You know what, Will? You've got about as much warmth as an outhouse on a winter's morn.


<b>Interior - Day - Dobey's Office</b>

DOBEY: Come in, Starsky.

KENDALL: Oh, I'm sorry, Captain.

DOBEY: Kendall.

STARSKY: Excuse me.

KENDALL: Is this the wrong time?

DOBEY: Detective Starsky, Hutchinson.

STARSKY: Hi. 

HUTCH: How do you do?

STARSKY: How you doing? 

DOBEY: Robert Kendall. The Treasury Department.

STARSKY: No kidding.

DOBEY: He's in our town investigating an illegal booze operation.

HUTCH: Bootlegging?

KENDALL: That's right. You got it. Moonshine.

STARSKY: Ah, come on. I thought that only happened beneath the Mason-Dixon Line.

KENDALL: People come here from every state in the country. There are little pockets of the South all over this town.

DOBEY: The coroner says those dudes you ran down died from bad booze. Mr. Kendall here thinks it's, uh, part of an operation.

HUTCH: Starsky, that explains the sugar.

STARSKY: Yeah, but... Why would they have to steal it if they could buy it?

KENDALL: Oh, well, bootleggers know that one way we trace them is by checking large purchases of sugar.

STARSKY: Yeah, but if these guys were part of an organization, why would they drink their own poison?

DOBEY: They thought they were drinking their regular moonshine. It's no worse for you than high-octane whiskey. 

KENDALL: Unless it's cut with wood alcohol to increase the supply, then it's deadly. Gentlemen, I gotta run. I'll keep in touch with this office and pass on any information I come up with.

DOBEY: Do that, Kendall. Thank you. Here's a list of the bars and honky-tonks found in the van.

HUTCH: What are these, outlets? 

DOBEY: I want you to pay 'em a visit. But before you do, change into something, uh, a little more down home.

STARSKY: I'll be sure to get my coonskin cap out of my closet.

DOBEY: I want you to find this still and bust it before we have a body count on our hands.

STARSKY: Did you ever hear of Eliot Ness?

DOBEY: Eliot Ness? Who's he?


<b>Exterior - Day - Illegal Still Location</b>

DOLLY: But, Pa, that coroner said that Frank and Virgil died from drinking bad corn liquor. How can we be sure it wasn't one of ours?
 
IVERS: Our family's been in the corn business in three states through four wars and more than 20 presidents. And we ain't run off a bad batch yet.

DOLLY: Yeah, but I still think we ought to shut down, just to be sure.

HALL: No way, Dolly. In fact, with that big distributor waiting, we gonna have to double our production.

DOLLY: Not till we figure this out.

HALL: Hey, it ain't our fault a couple of fools we hired got themselves killed drinking bad liquor.

DOLLY: That liquor was in our jugs.

HALL: Yeah, well, maybe somebody spiked it on them with wood alcohol or somethin'.

IVERS: Argh. Anyone who would turn a fine brew into poison ought to be put away. But, Doll, if it'll make you feel any better, go ahead and round up that last batch from our customers and dump it out in the woods somewhere.

DOLLY: Oh, Pa, thank you. I hoped that's what you were gonna say. You're an angel.

IVERS: Ah, scat out of here.

HALL: Need a hand, Dolly?

DOLLY: If I do, I'll whistle. And I don't remember whistling.

HALL: I'm a wiz with those old slant sixes.

DOLLY: That just happens to be a shame because this here's a brand-new 441 V8, and it's bored, stroked and blueprinted. Wiz.

HALL: You're one cool lady, Dolly. But that's just gonna make it all the more tasty when you finally melt. Going right through the door, are you?

DOLLY: Only if you're in front of it.

IVERS: Hey, Melvin, do you have to play soldier?

MELVIN: I told you, Sam. There's been a fed asking questions down at the Backwoods Inn. Willy, what if he finds out it's us that's been cutting the brew?

HALL: We'll just take him for a long walk in the woods.

MELVIN: Dolly, too?

HALL: Are you crazy, boy? I got plans for that little girl.


<b>Exterior - Day - Smokey Mountain Inn</b>

STARSKY: And before I knew it, Roxy signed us up for this big dance contest.

HUTCH: Yeah? So who told her you were the West Coast disco champion?

STARSKY: We had kind of a lot to drink that night.

HUTCH: Figures. 

EARL: That your way of saying you're looking for trouble, fella?

STARSKY: Sorry about that.

EARL: That ain't gonna get my clothes clean!

STARSKY: Uh... I hate to inform you, pally, but, uh... a 2-ton sandblaster wouldn't get those clothes clean.

EARL: Well, you ain't wrong there. Whereabouts you boys from?

STARSKY: Uh-- 

HUTCH: Alabama.

STARSKY: Alabama. Yeah. And, uh... You know, I ain't had a shot of nothing decent since I left home.

EARL: Well, come on in. You're all right!

STARSKY: Well, okay.

EARL: You too, blondie.

HUTCH: Oh, yes, sir.

EARL: You're all right!


<b>Interior - Day - Smokey Mountain Inn</b>

HUTCH: Sorry, partner. Just a thirsty man in a hurry for a drink.

EARL: Pour my friends a double, Rudy, of the house specialty. They all right.

HUTCH: Begging your pardon there, no offense, but I'd like a beer.

EARL: Oh. Well, boy, this Cumberland home brew  will knock your socks off.

STARSKY: Well, if it's flammable, I'll drink it.

EARL: To our sweet home Alabama.

HUTCH: Alabama.

EARL: Lord, I'm coming back to ya.

HUTCH: I'm coming home. I think you better take a sip of that.

STARSKY: Are you kidding? A couple guys died from drinking this kind of stuff.

EARL: Ah. What you waiting for, brother? It's been aged a week already.

STARSKY: Well, I was, uh-- I was, uh, thinking about my mama... In 'Bama.

EARL: Well, then we'll drink to her too. Hey, Rudy, let's have another.

HUTCH: Oh, boy.

EARL: You know, where I come from, a man who won't drink to 'Bama or his mama... is an endangered species.

HUTCH: You know something? I think you'd better drink those glasses down.

STARSKY: Are you nuts?

HUTCH: Well, it's a little hard to dance with broken kneecaps, you know.

STARSKY: Well-- 

HUTCH: Here's to 'Bama.

STARSKY: And to mama.

HUTCH: Rudy. You know a couple guys died drinking this moonshine.

RUDY: I heard about that. But it's hard to believe about old Cumberland. I been pouring that stuff for years, and I ain't had a complaint yet. Ask your pal over here. Heh. He's had enough of it to really know.

STARSKY: Man... I have had Kool-Aid that is stronger.

RUDY: Oh!

STARSKY: I'm back. What's going on back there?

HUTCH: Rudy, I wanna know who your supplier is.

RUDY: I don't know. I mean, every once in a while a man comes by and, uh, sells me some.

HUTCH: What's the name?

STARSKY: He never asked him his name.

RUDY: Like he says, I never asked him.

HUTCH: Well, look, uh... we're gonna have to confiscate whatever moonshine you've got.

RUDY: This is all I've got.

STARSKY: Terrific. And I'm gonna drink it.

HUTCH: Ah, ah, ah.

STARSKY: What do you--?

HUTCH: Now, look, Rudy, you can make it easy on yourself, you can make it hard on yourself. You're selling bootleg. Now if you don't cooperate, you're an accessory. If you do cooperate, you're a friendly witness. It's up to you.

RUDY: All right, I'll be friendly.

STARSKY: He's friendly.

RUDY: But this is all I've got. A girl came earlier and picked up the rest of 'em.

HUTCH: I need names.

RUDY: Well, I don't know any names. But, uh, if it'll help you, she was built like a... brick battleship.

STARSKY: What was she driving?

HUTCH: Come on.

RUDY: A yellow pickup. But, uh, I don't know where she comes from or who she works for.

HUTCH: Anybody else tries to sell you any of that home brew... 

STARSKY: Give him a card.

HUTCH: Just contact us here, huh.

HUTCH: Can you make it?

STARSKY: Can I make what?

HUTCH: Good.

STARSKY: Now, look... you hold this for me. Where are my keys? Keys...


<b>Exterior - Day - Smokey Mountain Inn</b>

<span>HUTCH: Y</span>ou sure you're all right to drive, huh?

STARSKY: I'm sure.

HUTCH: Okay.

STARSKY: You kidding? Once I get behind that wheel, I'm steady as a rock.

HUTCH: Whew. Well, why don't you get in there behind the wheel, huh?

STARSKY: I can drive.

HUTCH: No, no, it's all right. It's all right. You're doing fine over here. Come on. Come on, slide over, huh. 

STARSKY: Slide. Slide. 

HUTCH: Come on. Come on. 

STARSKY: Slide.

HUTCH: Up you-- Up you go. I'll tell you what, give me the keys, and you can drive, huh? Come on.

STARSKY: You know, you fooled me on that. I'm driving. You're driving.

HUTCH: What's this?

STARSKY: Who's driving? What's what?

HUTCH: Maybe if you tried on your little black pumps, darling, you'd feel better. Come on. Up you go. Hey. What are they for, huh?

STARSKY: What do you mean? You know what these are for. For the dance contest tonight. What are you doing? What do you want me to use, a pair of sneakers?


<b>Exterior - Day - In the Torino</b>

HUTCH: This next bar should be just up the street here. We'll get you some more coffee there, huh?

STARSKY: Forget it. My stomach's about to fall out.

HUTCH: What's this? Yellow pickup? Look at that.

STARSKY: She's definitely a girl.

(Car chase ensues.) 

STARSKY: We woulda had better luck with a skateboard. I think I'm gonna be sick.

HUTCH: Oh, no.

POLICE DISPATCHER: Zebra 3, Zebra 3. Patch in from Captain Dobey.

HUTCH: Yeah, go ahead.

DOBEY: (on radio) Hutchinson? I want you and Starsky to check out that old Backwoods Inn.

HUTCH: I thought Kendall was gonna take care of that.

DOBEY: He did, last night. They found his body about an hour ago up on Old Ranch Road.

HUTCH: Yeah, all right. We'll be there tonight.

DOBEY: You'd better be. And with a lot better cover than Kendall had. (end) 



<b>Interior - Day - Illegal Still Location</b>

DOLLY: Do I look like a tote bag to you? Now, you take those jugs, and you dump 'em. Put the empties in the storeroom.

HALL: Dolly, why don't we just store 'em for a while. We're not even sure yet whether they're bad or not.

DOLLY: What's gained by that? Besides, I didn't drive all the way down to that hot and smoggy city just for my health. Now, that stuff goes.

HALL: Well, maybe we can test it.

DOLLY: Willy, I'm getting a little tired of your interference. Now, I said that stuff goes, so it goes. And besides, I'm not taking a chance on poisoning myself. If you wanna take a tiny little sip, you take it.

HALL: Even if it is bad, we can cut it with this new run of good stuff. There wouldn't be enough bad left to even hurt a fly.

DOLLY: Willy, we don't do business like that!

IVERS: What's all the jawing about?

HALL: Sam, I got a buyer. He wants 1,000 gallons by Saturday.

IVERS: There's no way we can come up with that much by then.

HALL: Do it my way, you can.

DOLLY: Yeah, you know what his way is? He wants to take the old stuff and cut it with the new.

HALL: It'll cut it plenty, Sam, so as no one will get poisoned, much less sick. Besides, it's a $10,000 sale.

IVERS: Two men have already died, Willy. Don't that mean anything to you? 

DOLLY: Is it worth it?

HALL: Yeah.

DOLLY: You're gonna dump it. Mel?

MELVIN: Yeah, Dolly?

DOLLY: Dump all that stuff. Dump it!

MELVIN: You're the boss, Dolly.

DOLLY: You got it. Come on. 

HALL: I'll help you, Mel.


<b>Interior - Day - Police Garage</b>

MUNSON: You got yourself a lot of horses here. Piston heads the size of manhole covers. If that don't qualify you as a good old boy, nothing will.

STARSKY: So, what's a detective first-class doing driving a thing like this?

MUNSON: Just trying to regain my lost youth, I guess. You see, you are looking at the former teenage terror of Giddings, Texas.

STARSKY: You mean you drive this thing?

MUNSON: Yeah, only on weekends. Trade in my double knit for jeans and T-shirt and cruise. Gives my old lady something to scream about. Now. to anybody who is not in the know, this looks like a usual CB rig. But a flick of this toggle switch here, and you got yourself a police radio with a range of 50 miles.

STARSKY: That's very thoughtful.

HUTCH: Hey, Munson. Wanna hear a tune?

MUNSON: Oh. Uh, no, thanks, Sergeant. Say, what's with this guitar, anyway?

HUTCH: What's the matter with you, boy? You never heard of C.W. Jackson? Hottest country picker this side of Bell County?

MUNSON: Oh, uh, watch the paint job, will you? That's hand-rubbed lacquer. There's no synchro in second, so watch it when you shift! Oh, my gears.


<b>Exterior - Day - Countryside</b>

HALL: Hey, little brother.

MELVIN: Hoo-wee!

HALL: Don't do that.

MELVIN: Well, you heard Dolly. She said dump it.

HALL: Are you gonna listen to her or me?

MELVIN: Well, you calling the shots, Willy.

HALL: Well, these jugs go back in the barn. They're gonna help make up that 1,000-gallon delivery we got.

MELVIN: But, Willy, some of this is out-and-out bad whiskey.

HALL: I know. It just ain't right, us making 10 thou off of rotgut.

MELVIN: Hey, and maybe we can buy us a bar.

HALL: That's right, little brother. Maybe we can. Maybe we can.

MELVIN: Hoo-wee!


<b>Exterior - Night - Backwoods Inn</b>

HUTCH: Aha. Backwards-- Uh, Backwoods Inn. Amateur Night.


<b>Interior - Night - Backwoods Inn</b>

HALL: I know you can find me a couple old boys, there, Ben. Shoot, it's easier than filling a trunk full of mud. Just pick up a couple, two, three loads of sugar, get the money and run.

MEADOWS: Everybody heard what happened to the last boys that worked for you, Willy.

STARSKY: Hey, do you expect me to carry this thing all night?

HUTCH: Everybody carries an ax at an amateur night. Just hope nobody asks you to play it. Excuse me, ma'am.

STARSKY: Hi. 

HUTCH: One hell of a musician, huh?

STARSKY: Hey.

WOMAN: Do you play that thing, Curly, or is that just your way of getting attention?

STARSKY: Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, uh... Johnny Stovall.

WOMAN: Hi.

STARSKY: Just came from smash hit in, uh, Nashville.

HUTCH: Yeah, if I was gathering eggs, I'd sure like to find you in my nest. C.W. Jackson, the hottest country picker this side of Bell County.

MEADOWS: Well, no kidding. I'm Ben Meadows.

HUTCH: Hi, Ben. 

STARSKY: Hi, Ben. 

MEADOWS: I own this joint. 

STARSKY: Sorry about that.

MEADOWS: What do you do?

STARSKY: Well, actually, I'm not much of a musician.

HUTCH: Aw, don't kid yourself, Johnny.

STARSKY: No, I'm more of a, uh... of an agent. 

HUTCH: A manager.

STARSKY: Yeah, manager. Kind of like Colonel Parker of Tobacco Road. You don't think that's funny? And, uh... Uh, C.W. here... he picks a mean guitar.

HUTCH: Well, not all the time.

MEADOWS: Well, well, is that right? I'll tell you what. We can use you right up there.

STARSKY: Hey.

HUTCH: Uh, look, Ben, uh,... Uh, Ben?

MEADOWS: Ladies and gentlemen. With the sorry lack of talent we got here at the Backwoods Inn tonight, I'm just tickled pink to introduce you to the hottest picker this side of Bell County, C.W. Jackson.

STARSKY: Here he goes! Whoo! Here he goes.

HUTCH: How you doing, boys? See you got a piano here, huh? Yeah, well, I guess if I'm gonna pick this thing, I'd better take it out of the case, huh? Y'all know Willie? Y'all know old Waylon? Well, I'm C.W.

STARSKY: Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

HUTCH: Uh... Well, there's more. I think it's coming back to me now. (plays blue grass instrumental) 

STARSKY: Whoo-hoo! C.W.! Whoo! Whoo! I like bluegrass better than music! Whoo!

HUTCH: Thank you. Thank you. That's all right. That's all right.

AUDIENCE: Do another one? Do another one.

STARSKY: Whoo-hoo! All right, all right. Sounds fine.

DOLLY: You were good.

HUTCH: Aw, shucks, honey, it was nothing.

STARSKY: I'll tell you, C.W., you darn near knocked their socks right off.

HUTCH: Yeah, well, that's a compliment coming from you, Big John.

MEADOWS: Yeah. That was a bit of all right there, C.W. Ah. Listen, uh, you boys, uh, in the music business on a professional level?

STARSKY: Well, we'd kind of like to say we were, but, uh, after all, it doesn't pay the rent.

MEADOWS: Uh-huh.

HUTCH: Oh, yeah, we got-- We got something else for that.

MEADOWS: Yeah? Uh, what's that?

STARSKY: Delivery.

MEADOWS: Delivery, huh? Well, what do you deliver?

HUTCH: Bootleg. Yeah, last job we got was down in Tennessee.

STARSKY: Mm-hm.

HUTCH: Of course, coming up into these parts, there's not much call for boys with our talent.

MEADOWS: Uh-huh.

HUTCH: If you know what I mean.

MEADOWS: Well... If you boys can do what you say you do just half as good as old C.W. here can pick, I'm gonna put you in touch with somebody who's just gonna love you to pieces.

STARSKY: We're waiting.

MEADOWS: Willy? 

DOLLY: You know, Pa, I've been thinking about us going legitimate.

IVERS: You mean pay taxes on what we brew?

DOLLY: Mm-hm.

IVERS: No, baby. Our family was brewing corn when Washington, D.C. was nothing more than a swamp. And we ain't gonna start paying for the privileges now.

HALL: Sam.

IVERS: Yeah?

HALL: I just hired us some help for that sugar pickup.

IVERS: Yeah?

HALL: Johnny Stovall and C.W. Jackson, say hello to Sam Ivers.

STARSKY: Hi.

HUTCH: Hi, Sam.

IVERS: Hi, there.

STARSKY: How are you?

HUTCH: Hi, Sam, how are you?

HALL: I noticed you already met Dolly.

STARSKY: Sure did.

IVERS: Hey, why don't we all just scoot up to the bar and have a snort of loudmouth?

STARSKY: Oh, that's a swell idea. 

HUTCH: Why don't we just order in.

STARSKY: Oh, no, I think the bar is a fine place to have a snort of, ahem, loudmouth.

HUTCH: Well, fine. 

STARSKY: See you around.

DOLLY: You're racy. 

STARSKY: Hi, there, Dolly.

DOLLY: Hi there, Johnny.

STARSKY: Mighty fine name.

DOLLY: So's Johnny.

STARSKY: Why, thank you. Say, uh, you wouldn't happen, by any chance, uh, drive a yellow GMC pickup?

DOLLY: Yeah, I do. How'd you know?

STARSKY: Well, I've seen you tooling around. You got a clean machine.

DOLLY: Well, thank you, Johnny.

STARSKY: Thank you, Dolly.


<b>Exterior - Day - Three J's Packing</b>

MANAGER: Let's see. That's 25 50-pound sacks of granulated fine at 67 cents, comes to $727.50.

DOBEY: You'll have a check by the end of week.

MANAGER: I certainly hope so. By the way, Captain, what are you gonna do with all this sugar?

DOBEY: Piña coladas. You can look at me and tell I love them, can't you?

MANAGER: Thank you, Captain.


<b>Exterior - Day - Vacant Lot</b>

HUTCH: That's 1,000 pounds and change there, Willy. That ought to make your sweet tooth happy.

HALL: And if you're looking for Dolly, she ain't here.

STARSKY: I'm looking for your wheels so we can follow you up to the still.

HALL: Well, I'm taking your truck.

HUTCH: Wait a minute. Nobody's going in this truck nowhere without one of us in it.

HALL: What? And give you boys a guided tour of the still? No way.

STARSKY: How do we know you're gonna bring back the money?

HALL: Well, now, it looks like you're just gonna have to trust me, old buddy.

HUTCH: Hey, just wait a minute, Willy. Hey! Hey, kid, give me your bike, will you? 

KID: Hey, what are you doing? 

HUTCH: Look, I just wanna borrow it for a while. How much you want?

KID: I want 30 bucks.

Yeah, how about the hat? Look, I'll be back for it, okay?

HALL: (sings) That's All Right, Mama. 

POLICE DISPATCHER: (on CB radio) Zebra 3. Zebra 3. Come in, please. Zebra 3, do you read me?

HALL: I read you, cousin.

POLICE DISPATCHER: This is the police dispatcher. Captain Dobey requests your location. Please respond. Zebra 3, come in. Zebra 3, do you read me? (end) He's a cop. He's a lousy cop.


<b>Exterior - Day - Phone Booth</b>

HUTCH: (on phone) We're in the northwest quadrant of the county, just off State Highway 105.

DOBEY: What's he driving?

HUTCH: He's driving Munson's red pickup.

DOBEY: Where's Starsky?

HUTCH: Starsky's in the back of the pickup.

DOBEY: What the hell is going on out there?

HUTCH: Look, Captain, I don't have time to explain. Am I gonna get the helicopter and the backup or not?

DOBEY: It's all on the way.

HUTCH: Thanks. (end) 


Interior - Day - Illegal Still Location

MELVIN: You got the goods, Willy?

HALL: Yep. And a little added attraction.

STARSKY: Howdy.

DOLLY: Hey, Johnny. What you doing here?

STARSKY: Well, uh, I just had to see your smiling face one more time, Dolly. Oh, come on, now, you didn't expect me to let you take off alone, huh? After all, I got a lot of dough tied up in these wheels.

MELVIN: Hey, I thought we agreed not to let no strangers up here. Ain't he liable to say something?

HALL: Not a chance, Melvin. This old boy ain't leaving.

STARSKY: Howdy.

IVERS: Howdy. How you doing? What's going on here, Willy?

HALL: He's a cop, Sam.

STARSKY: A cop? Ah, Willy, you got one hell of an imagination.

HALL: Imagination, huh?
 
STARSKY: Look, not me, pal.

HALL: Yeah, I suppose that cop radio I found in your truck is my imagination, huh? And this here pistol, it ain't real. 

IVERS: Yeah... Hm. And lookie here, what my imagination done made up. A chintzy piece of tin. How you gonna explain that?

STARSKY: It was either that or work in my uncle's deli. I'm sorry about this guys, but, uh, you're under arrest.

HALL: Arrest that!

DOLLY: You're loco. Now, put-- Put that away. Sam runs things here.

HALL: The only thing Sam runs is his mouth.

IVERS: I run a clean operation, Willy. No strong-arm stuff, no graft and nothing heavy.

STARSKY: Not any more, Sam. Willy here killed himself a federal agent.

DOLLY: You're--!

HALL: Well, he was on to us, Sam! Now you in just as deep as the rest of us.

DOLLY: You're sick! Do you hear me? You are sick!

HALL: Melvin, take him for a walk and bury him so deep he don't stink up the place.

DOLLY: Willy, listen, I'm real sorry. You know I just kind of said things I didn't mean. You know how things bunch up on us. Come on, Willy. 

HALL: That's okay. Me and you got a lot of time to get to know each other a whole lot better.

DOLLY: I didn't think you were dumb enough to kill a cop and bring the heat down on us.

HALL: Save your breath, pretty mama. You're gonna need it.

DOLLY: You--!

STARSKY: I hate to remind you, Willy. My partner's out there, and he's gonna be looking for me.

IVERS: Uh, would it be all right to put him on ice for a while?

MELVIN: Maybe they got a point, Willy.

HALL: Melvin, I knew you was short and ugly, but I never figured you for yellow too.

IVERS: Well, don't be stupid, Willy. If they come in on us, we got us a bargaining tool here.

HALL: "Us," old man? Whatcha mean, "us"? What makes you think I need you anymore? Why, after I bury this dude, we're hightailing out of here. And I'm taking the booze and the sugar and Dolly. And you can stay or go where you please, but you ain't coming with us. Now, I want all of y'all to load this here booze in the back of this here truck. And that goes for you too, Mr. Secret Policeman. Melvin. Now, you cover them real good, little brother.

DOLLY: We should never have left Kentucky.

STARSKY: Why did you?

DOLLY: Pa's health, mainly. Twenty years in those mines just wrecked his lungs.

STARSKY: Wasn't he brewing in Kentucky too?

DOLLY: Sure. Loads of folks do.

IVERS: And it's something we all took pride in too.

STARSKY: You oughta tell that to your hired help.

HALL: Hey! Knock off this sneaky talk. You come on with me, Dolly.

DOLLY: I ain't going nowhere with you.

HALL: Hey, you try something, boy. I double-dog dare you to try something. Then Melvin won't have to find a place to bury you outside. He can do it right here. It's the other one.

MELVIN: Another cop? I ain't gonna have to kill him, am I, Willy?

HALL: Stop your sniveling. Put him off, little brother. Just put him off. Buy us a little time so we can get out of here. Now, if you wanna keep breathing a little while longer, just don't do no hollering.

<b>Exterior - Day - Illegal Still Location</b>

MELVIN: Howdy.

HUTCH: Howdy.

MELVIN: Sure is a hot day out to be walking your hog.

HUTCH: Yeah, it sure is. I think somebody stole my bright red pickup. It's a Ford. It's got big heavy-duty wheels on it. You seen it?

MELVIN: No, ain't been a vehicle of any kind through here in a month of Sundays. Heh, we're sort of out of the way here.


<b>Interior - Day - Illegal Still Location</b>

STARSKY: I'm gonna make a break for it.

DOLLY: He'll try to kill you.

STARSKY: He already decided to do that. 

DOLLY: Why don't we just all jump him?

STARSKY: Then he'll kill you to boot. If you can distract him... that might give me the edge I need.

DOLLY: Oh, I know how to do that.


<b>Exterior - Day - Illegal Still Location</b>

MELVIN: You might try Glenn Canyon.

HUTCH: Yeah, I tried Glenn Canyon. Tried Healy Canyon, tried Willow Road.

MELVIN: Well, I don't know what to tell you, friend. Other than keep poking around.

HUTCH: Yeah, thanks a lot, huh.


<b>Interior - Day - Illegal Still Location</b>

HALL: Hey, Dolly. What you doing?

DOLLY: What does it look like? You ripped all the buttons off my shirt.

HALL: Oh, here, let me help you.

(Fight ensues.) 

DOLLY: You okay?

STARSKY: Oh, yeah.

HUTCH: Well... looks like we found the still. What's the matter?

STARSKY: My leg.

HUTCH: Oh.


<b>Interior - Day - Squad Room</b>

STARSKY: Will you stop that? Please.

HUTCH: I thought you liked country music.

STARSKY: The only thing I like about country are country girls like Dolly.

HUTCH: Oh...

STARSKY: And she is in Kentucky now.

HUTCH: Yeah, well, she'll be happier there, Starsk. Also, I think she and her old man are pretty lucky the judge didn't throw them in the joint.

STARSKY: Hey, like I told the judge, they saved our lives.

HUTCH: Yeah, I want to thank you for that. Also wanna thank you for making me look like a jerk in front of the jury by telling them I missed the hit man and ran head-on into the still.

STARSKY: Well, if it hadn't been for you, I'd be going to a dance contest tonight with another of the most beautiful ladies in the world.

HUTCH: Oh, that Roxy is hot stuff.

STARSKY: Deep almond eyes... killer lashes.

HUTCH: Those long, sexy legs and that Ava Gardner mouth.

STARSKY: Mm. Hey, when did you meet her?

HUTCH: Uh, well, just a couple hours ago. She stopped by here to see you, then, uh...

STARSKY: Huh?

HUTCH: ...but you were at the doctor's.

STARSKY: She must feel terrible about tonight.

HUTCH: Ah, not really. In fact, she's found herself a-- a new partner.

STARSKY: Really?

HUTCH: Yeah. I gotta pick her up in about an hour.

STARSKY: You? You? Hey, wait. Wait a second. You don't even know how to foxtrot.

HUTCH: Starsky, she doesn't know that.

STARSKY: No, wait a minute. Come back here. Hey, hey!

HUTCH: Say, you wouldn't mind if I used your little black pumps, would you? Starsk!

END


That's All Right, Mama
written by Arthur Crudup
sung by Billy Green Bush
</pre>
<p>That’s all right, mama<br/>Well, that’s all right, mama<br/>That’s all right for you<br/>That’s all right mama, just anyway you do<br/>Well, that’s all right, that’s all right.<br/>That’s all right now mama, anyway you do</p>
<p>Mama she done told me,<br/>Papa done told me too<br/>‘Son, that gal your foolin’ with,<br/>She ain’t no good for you’<br/>But, that’s all right, that’s all right.<br/>That’s all right now mama, anyway you do</p>
<p>I’m leaving town, baby<br/>I’m leaving town for sure<br/>Well, then you won’t be bothered with<br/>Me hanging ‘round your door<br/>Well, that’s all right, that’s all right.<br/>That’s all right now mama, anyway you do</p>

<p> </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>